Mentor
by KDMOSP
Summary: He was sent here to take her; nothing else. This is a story written from a very different perspective. It may be confusing at first but it'll explain itself! Warning: possible character death
1. Chapter 1

Coffee. It is the only way I know how to wake up in the morning. Black, loaded with caffeine; after two cups I am ready to face my day- whatever that will bring.

"Mike." I turn, instantly recognizing the voice of a good friend. He nods to me and kicks over a chair, motioning me to join him. He is an older guy, early seventies, worked his entire life as a farmer somewhere in Texas. He still maintains that work ethic, early riser, don't stop till the job is done kind of man. I respect that.

"Jim." I sit down beside him and glance at the paper he is reading, sports section. He is an avid fan of the Longhorns and continues to follow them, even up here. I can tell already though, he isn't happy about the latest games' outcome. The scowl on his face is all the information I need to know not to discuss any kind of football with him.

We've been friends for years now, Jim and I. We met three days after my life ended, he greeted me "here" and has acted as sort of mentor for me ever since. He swears he didn't mean to bump into me with a beer in his hand that day, I argue that he was a lonely old bastard looking to finally talk to someone. As the days turned to weeks and the weeks to years, Jim slowly began letting me in on his previous life. How he had died a cranky old man, with not a person to love him. He had died in a nursing home, with the social worker by his side. He was never married, never had any kids, his parents and siblings were all dead. I have yet to meet them.

I had the exact opposite experience in my passing. I was forty two years old, a prominent attorney. I don't remember much about my death, but do remember my family. Three loving children (who are now all in college) and my wife; who since my death, has remarried. One thing I do remember vividly is watching how the FBI became involved in my death, how a team of agents worked diligently to find my killer. I watched with tears in my eyes as a blonde agent spoke softly to my still grieving wife, how the young woman comforted Lisa and vowed to find who was responsible. I watched as the blonde agent interviewed my kids in a way that was victim centered, she knew exactly when to stop, when things were becoming too much.

And she kept her promise.

Four days after my death, she personally went to my home, to my family and with a practiced tone announced that my killer had been caught, that he was facing a litany of charges ranging from drug trafficking to murder; that the likelihood of him ever seeing a chance of freedom was almost non existent. The agent gave my family her business card, gave one last hug and walked out the door. I, till this day, have no idea why that agent impacted me so much, but I will always remember what she did for my family.

"Mike!" I shake myself out of my flashback, Jim is staring at me, his brown eyes glaring at me. He is standing next to a woman I have never seen before. She is dressed all in white, and doesn't speak but instead hands me a simple envelope before walking away.

"Shit." Jim shakes his head and smirks, as he takes a sip from his coffee. I look at him and he motions for me to go ahead and open the mysterious envelope. "Good luck, kid." Jim chuckles to himself and walks away.

The envelope, I have a sinking feeling what it is. I have seen it delivered before, a person from "here" has to go "there" and bring a poor soul over to our side. We act as a mentor for them for the first while during their time here, to help them adjust. In four years, I have never been selected, I knew there was always the distinct possibility just never expected it.

My hands are shaking as I open the "assignment", as it is often referred to. I don't understand the exact process, but know that once you get the envelope you have no choice, you have been selected to become a mentor.

"You okay, kid?" I jump almost at Jim's voice, it's not the tone I am accustomed to hearing; this time it is soft and caring. He gestures to the envelope in my hands. "Got your first one?" I nod, its all I can do. "It's hard, it won't be easy. You are there, and they often sense your presence even before they have taken their last breaths." He pauses. "Sometimes they make eye contact, sometimes they reach for you, sometimes they cry." another pause. "and sometimes they are waiting for you." It is the first time I have ever heard him speak of his work as a mentor and his voice betrays what a monumental task this will be. "But you have to do it, you have to bring them here."

I nod with understanding and glance down at my assignment, still numb from even being selected as a mentor. The letter is written in gold handwriting, I know where it has come from, I have too much respect for Him to speak His name. As my mind continues to process what has just happened, I am overwhelmed with a sense of pride, this is a big job, and important job, and I have been selected.

Taking a deep breath, I look down again and begin processing the written information. An FBI agent, based out of Quantico, is currently in Fort Worth, Texas working a particularly dangerous case. A young woman, I glance at her age, she is in her mid thirties, blonde hair… and my heart rate picks up. No, it cannot be the agent I am thinking of, the one who did so much for my family. The one who kept my family sane, who helped bring justice forward…

A picture is attached and I refuse to turn it over just yet, maybe it isn't her. It proabably isn't. Hell, how many blonde haired, thirty something year old FBI agents can there be working in Quantico? I am sure more than one. My heart tells me something diffrent though and as I turn over the picture, I again close my eyes.

It is her, the beautiful agent from four years ago. Her name and expected time of death are stamped on the photo. I don't know the way she will die yet, as is typical. If I don't know how she'll die, I have no way of preventing it. I am sure that is intentional. The penalties for interfering are not something I care to entertain, but I can't help but think of a way to spare her life.

"Kid?" I look up and show Jim the photo.

After a moment, I am able to speak. "She brought my killer to justice, she comforted my family," a pause so I can breathe. "Her name is Jennifer Jareau, and she dies in less than twelve hours."


	2. Abducted

Oh my goodness, I totally forgot to add the standard "I do not own Criminal Minds" sphell. Well, there it is.

Also, I will update this story frequently, it is not long, maybe another two chapters, which I might just post the rest of the story this weekend. I have almost no free time and once Monday hits, the chances of me writing are slim to none. So, yes, I do update a lot but refuse to leave a story open. Just prepare yourselves!

Thank you to all who reviewed!

I haven't moved in a while, I am sitting exactly where I was when I received the notice. A few minutes after that, another envelope was delivered; this one contained information about her life, the people making up her support systems, her team, family. Everything I needed to know, except the one thing I wanted to know: how she would die. That file introduced me to the most important people in her life, from her boss to her young son, her nickname of "JJ" but only her friends could address her as such. A man named Hotch would be there as she passed, her son would speak to her moments before "it" happened.

"Alright, kid." Tim's voice startles me and I nearly jump up. "Easy. I was able to buy you.. well.. her, two more hours. The big man was understanding and agreed on the time extension." He pauses "and I get to go with you."

A massive, huge amount of relief washes over me. My own mentor will be with me on my first trip. "Thank you." I don't know what else to say.

He nods. "She won't see me, she'll only see you so you'll have to act on your own. But just remember I am there." Another pause and for the first time in close to two hours I am able to look away from the file. "Kid, it's going to be violent, just prepare yourself alright?" The tone in his voice has a warning in it and it clicks with me, he knows how she'll die.

"What?" I begin to ask but am quickly interrupted.

"I know what happens, just…" He closes his eyes. "It won't be an easy one, okay? We need to leave now, we are wasting time."

"She still has ten hours! Why do we need to go now?" I question as he steps towards me and instantly, everything shifts and suddenly we are somewhere else.

"She dies in ten hours, that doesn't mean her hell isn't about to begin."

And then, suddenly, I am back on Earth. I recognize the distinct sounds of traffic, the horns blaring, brakes screeching, people yelling. And for that brief few seconds, I am glad I am dead. It is so peaceful where I am, none of this.

"Why are we here?" I ask Jim, smiling slightly seeing him perched up, floating above a chain linked fence.

He points to an approaching black SUV, I see two passengers in the vehicle, Agent Jareau being one of them. I recognize the other as Agent Hotchner, "Hotch" as he is often referred to as. They look happy, they are smiling and talking, and my heart is sinking. I notice it out of the corner of my eye, three men watching the SUV carefully. I see that each one of them has a gun in his hand, I see that my agent has no idea.

The SUV comes to a slow stop and I find myself being able to hear the conversation that JJ and Hotch are having. Something about wrapping up the case, that it was done, they are at the abandoned construction site to dot their I's and cross their T's, nothing else. Their "unsub" had been arrested, they are excited to be heading home.

"We'll make this quick, get you home for Christmas." I hear Hotch speak and it occurs to me, it is three days before Christmas.

"Henry is so excited for Santa." JJ is beaming with pride as she speaks of her young son. "He asked Santa for a puppy this year."

"And?" Hotch cracks a smile at her.

"Will persuaded his sister to watch the puppy until Christmas Eve." She laughs as they walk across the gravel. It almost looks like they could be a couple, almost. They remain professional however and it has never gone any further than professionalism.

They are still wearing their FBI vests, it is obvious to the three men that these are federal agents and yet they don't seem to care. They are behind the agents now and are slowly creeping up on them. I want to scream and yell at the two to pay attention to be aware but I am simply a ghost.

And then I notice something very unusual, the three are making no effort to conceal themselves, are walking and talking as they approach the two agents. At the sound of them, I watch as JJ and Hotch turn around and smile at the three. What the?

Hotch sticks out his hand and greets every single one of the men, JJ does the same. It's then I notice the shining badges on the pockets of the three men, so these are not the three I need to worry about. The anxiety of this is enough, I don't want to be around here any longer. Why am I here exactly?

"We've got a pen in the car," I hear JJ's voice "Let me grab it." She turns and heads back to the SUV leaving Hotch and the four cops talking.

"Mike.." I hear that warning tone coming from Jim and I instantly know that something is about to happen. I look around for any potential danger and find it just as JJ turns into it. Two men are hiding behind the SUV, the vehicle blocking anyone from seeing onto the other side. Nobody, including me, noticed them walk up.

She goes down like a sack of flour, instantly unconscious as she falls into the arms of one of the men. At the sound of the bat, Hotch and the three cops rush towards their fallen comrade, guns at the ready.

"JJ!" Hotch is shouting, running then stopping as he nears both men. "She is a federal agent, let her go." His tone has taken a lethal quality to it, but it does not seem to startle either man. And then a car races in, and gunfire erupts. I hit the ground as bullets fly thru the air, hitting two of the officers. Hotch and the remaining officer duck behind the nearest object providing shelter and fire back. But they are no match, before they can do anything, JJ is stuffed into the car and is driven away in a hail of gunfire.

The last fading remnants I get of that construction site are the sounds of a very angry, a very worried Agent Hotchner barking orders into a phone about an abducted FBI agent, and two officers down; and JJ who is unconscious in the car bleeding from a gunshot wound to the thigh; I am at her side instantly and vow not to leave her. Ever.

The entire abduction is over in less than a minute, and not even five trained law enforcement officers could stop it. That terrifies me, who are these people who took my agent?


	3. Counting Down

**In all honesty, I have yet to decide if JJ will die or not. Yes or no's would be helpful!**

**Thanks to all who reviewed! Please continue to do so**

**This chapter is short, but I left it where it is for a reason. I think it is the perfect chapter break. **

I have been at her side now for hours, my watch shows she has about seven hours left, looking at her, I am not sure how she can possibly make it that long.

"Jim." I plead for my mentor to come to me, I am not sure what to do; if there is anything I can do. We are alone now, she has been dumped here in an abandoned apartment complex, left to die on a filthy concrete floor. Even though she is unconscious, she is shivering, an effort her body is making to warm herself up- the bad part comes when she stops shivering.

The floor is the least of her problems, where she is dumped is atrocious. Drug paraphernalia litters the ground, exposed needles are in no short supply, there is no insulation inside to protect anyone from the outside elements. And on this cold December day, it is below freezing outside. All the windows are gone allowing the wind and snow to break into the supposed shelter. Broken bed frames, old food, feces, all are abundant in this hell hole. And apparently, this is where this respected, loved FBI agent will spend her final moments.

I glance down at her again, wishing I could cover her with anything to make her last few hours a bit more comfortable; the last thing she should have to worry about is being cold. I have to turn away as she continues to shake, blood is dripping from various wounds on her body, most notably the stab wound in her stomach. It didn't hit anything fatal, but if she doesn't get help soon, the stab wound combined with the bullet wound will be lethal.

She has no clothes on, so the impact of the freezing temperatures are wreaking havoc on her body. The men took them from her after their violent assault. I have no words to describe what transpired besides never wanting to see anything like that again. The last one, while still tormenting her, took a knife from behind him and savagely stabbed it into her stomach before pulling out the gag and waltzing away.

They left after that, didn't make any effort to help her up, to end her suffering. Just left her there- obviously knowing she wouldn't be able to get help herself. They knew she wouldn't last much longer.

That was five hours ago, and she is still fighting. She is decompensating quickly, her periods of unconsciousness are becoming fewer and she is less alert every time she does open her eyes.

The last time she did, I held her hand and whispered to her, promising that I was there, that she wouldn't die alone. She smiled at me and slipped back unaware of the sirens being heard across the city. They are looking for her.

She has three hours left to live, and I can only hope that these men don't come back for her. One time she asked me where her team was, if they were looking for her. I promised her they were, that a lot of people were looking for her.

Now, as I look down at her, I wipe a tear from my eye. I hope her team makes it in time, they won't be in time to save her life, but make it in time for her to say goodbye. I think that is what she is holding on for, for those she loved to show up one more time.

Suddenly, I hear her cough and her eyes shoot open. "Shh," I soothe her and watch as she struggles to roll over onto her side. She coughs and groans again in pain, broken ribs I guess. She vomits up blood before collapsing back down onto the concrete. "Alright, it's alright." Nothing about it is alright, nothing at all.

She makes eye contact with me and smiles. "You're.." she has to pause between every word now. "Still. Here?"

I nod happily and take her hand. "'Till the end kiddo." I use the pet name Jim gave me, and find it has a comforting aspect to it. I sit and talk to her, I talk about how I remember her being the agent who did so much for my family, how I owe her so much.

We are down to less than an hour when I notice she isn't waking up anymore. The shivering has stopped all together, and her face is so pale. "Jennifer?" I speak hoping for a response. There isn't one and I know we are nearing the end. I glance out the windows wishing for those black SUVs to come barreling in, but no such luck.

I pace and rub my hands together, and then it occurs to me, Jim never came at my call. "Jim?" I try again. Nothing. It is me and "JJ" and she told me to call her. I think she knows she won't make it out of this alive, I think she knows my role but I cannot be certain.

Her breathing is getting shallower now, her pulse is barely there. Even if the team did show up now, I am not sure they would make it up to get her before..

"JJ." I speak to her again. "It's okay, you can let go now, you will be safe, there will be no pain. It's okay." I get no response, but her breathing begins to slow, she takes a deep breath that sounds like a sigh of relief and then there is nothing.


	4. Time Up

I heard all of your reviews and truly appreciate it! Since I am a new writer, I do not want to alginate y'all just yet. Please remember, because I have decided to do this the way I have, I will often repeat themes in my later stories.

Again, thank each and every one of you for reading and reviewing.

The one thing about giving this assignment, about being given the privilege of being with JJ in her final moments is how much it humbles me. I may be dead, I may be here to collect her, I may know answers to some of life's most burning questions, yet I cannot save her. I still do not have the ability to stop death, to understand it, to delay it. I am no more powerful than the living when it comes to death; and watching JJ die makes me realize that only one can do all; and that one is not me.

Not even a minute ago, a homeless man wandered in and saw JJ lying here, he walked up to her, bent down and felt for a pulse; then he picked up her waded up FBI jacket and casually walked out the door. I shook my head in disbelief, how can anyone just leave this agent lying here? And for the first time in a very long time, I feel something. I actually feel emotion.

Anger directed in so many different directions. To Jim for leaving me here absolutely clueless as of what to do next. To the men who did this to JJ, who took her life as if she was nothing. To the FBI agent who failed to protect one of their own, to the homeless man who skimpy walked away. And finally I am angry at "Him." How could He let this happen, especially to someone who saved so many? She is one of the good ones and judging by what I have seen today, we don't have many like her left.

Absolute depression over this entire thing. Watching someone die changes you—and maybe that is why I was given this assignment; to show me just how helpless I am. I cry for JJ, her family, her team, the grandchildren she will never meet, the fact that she will die without a living person at her side.

There is guilt for not being able to help her, despair for knowing her team will not find her in time, love for this agent. I am experiencing all of these at once and it is overwhelming. What am I supposed to do?

I do the only thing I know how to do at this point, I talk to her. "JJ, I am not sure if you can hear me, but I am here for you. Mike is here for you. I know you are probably scared, so was I. But let me tell you about the place you are going to. The sky is always a brilliant color, always changing. There is no war, no crime, no hate, there is no fear, no sickness. No hunger, no pain. There is only happiness. You can watch your family grown, you can interact with those who left you. Your sister is here JJ, Jesse is waiting for you. She is so sorry for leaving you to find her, but is so proud of the person you have become." I pause and watch as the sun begins to set outside. "I never got to thank you, Agent. I am not sure if you remember me, we've never actually met, but you did so much for my family. So much that I cannot possibly express how much your actions mean to me. My wife is happy, my kids are on their way to be successful and I think that you had a huge impact on them during those few days. You showed them that good people still exist." I pause. "You showed me that good people still exist. JJ, I am not sure if you are ready yet, but I will be here when you are."

I wake up suddenly, jumping up to check on my charge. I am not sure really what is happening. She doesn't look to be breathing, but she isn't at my side; so somehow she is still fighting. And then I hear it, the very faint sound of sirens quickly approaching. They are coming and JJ is still alive.

Sirens pierce the air and had I had a heartbeat, it would have picked up dramatically. They are here. A quick glance out the window confirmed my suspicion and in astonishing speed the complex is surrounded with flashing lights and men and women running towards the massive structure.

"JJ?" I try again, hoping for some sort of response, and just as I suspect, I receive no response. "JJ, keep fighting kiddo, they coming up, they are going to find you."

The absolute flurry of activity is amazing, I cannot count the number of officers swarming. Even with it being pitch black outside, the amount of flashlights present allow me to see clearly. And I zero in on her team, they are all here. They waste no time in entering the building with such force that it makes me fear that they might accidently miss her and run her over.

I watch as they clear floor after floor, room after room leaving no corner untouched. Three minutes after their arrival I hear Agent Morgan's voice booming from outside the door.

"HOTCH!" He screams and I wonder how he knows before even entering the room. "Hotch! I've got blood." And then, the door is kicked open and agents flood the room.

The look on their faces when they first see her is something I will never forget. They spring into action as they fall by her side.

"Get the paramedics! We've got her!" Agent Hotchner screams before even checking for a pulse. I watch his hands shaking as he presses his fingers to her neck. He begins CPR and I see one tear roll down his check as he whispers to her "C'mon JJ." He isn't the only one crying and deep down inside he knows that tonight he is too late to save a life.


	5. Choice

This chapter is VERY short but I hope I can get the point across. After you read, please tell me what you think the answer will be.

I watch as Hotch starts CPR, he is obviously skilled in the technique as he presses down on her chest with enough force to break her ribs. Everything seems to have slowed down for me, as if everything is going in slow motion. I hear Agent Morgan scream and plead for a medic to hurry up, and then I see a SWAT officer rush to their side, dropping an enormous black backpack down and saying something about her being a trauma surgeon.

And then, everything stops. Everything freezes and Jim flashes in front of me. And in all honesty, I do not know what to say. I want to yell at him, scream, do something, but words fail me and I can only glare at him.

He speaks first. "Kid, I died before you, but not my much, six months at the most. I died alone in a nursing home with nobody by my side but the social worker. I hadn't been there long, only a few weeks- I had been shot years before and the injury took a toll on my body. The person who shot me was my neighbor, apparently he was in the middle of some sort of psychotic break." He stops and avoids all eye contact instead he looks at JJ. "I was his first victim, nobody else survived. I was shot in the head and given a low chance of ever waking up. I never did but I do remember one thing. I remember her," he pointed to JJ. "I remember hearing her voice as she talked to me even though she knew I wouldn't wake up. She stroked my hair and held my hand, she reminded me that even after all I had done, I was still a human being in her eyes." He looks at me for the first time, "It isn't uncommon to have doctors on SWAT teams here, and Dr. Conner is fantastic at her job. But now you have choice." He points to JJ, "She is critically injured, infection is already setting in. She will be dependent on ventilator for a long time; and will be hospitalized for a few months. Her brain has been without oxygen for long enough that brain damage has almost certainly set it." He points to the frozen scene. "I cannot promise you what she will be like if she ever wakes up. But now you get to choose. The rules have been broken and it's all on my head, but I want you to make a choice. Let her live and not know how she will turn out, or let her come home right now."

I can hardly comprehend what Jim is telling me. He has broken the rules, somehow but only to give me a choice. Let her live with the possibility of dependence on medical equipment or the possibility that all her wounds, physical at least, will heal; or some sort of middle ground. Or, do I want to act and let her come home with no chance of pain?

I have to choose- let her live or let her die. How can I make this choice when I have no idea what she would want? The speed has picked back up in the room, I see Dr. Conner pulling tubes out of her bag as Hotch continues CPR. She sticks her stethoscope to JJ's chest before looking up at Hotch and asking the question I suddenly have to answer. My answer will be his.

"Agent Hotchner, what would you like us to do?"


	6. Angel

This is the last chapter for "Mentor" Thank you all for reading. If you read the end, you will see how I set it up:

I collapse onto the ground after making my choice. Was it the wrong one? The right one? In the few milliseconds I was given to make this decision, I blurted one out. And now I am wondering if I made the decision she would want.

I jump and catastrophe immediately to the worst possible circumstances.

JJ dying will save her intense and long lasting pain, it will instantly end any suffering she is in; it will end a lot. It will end any further chance of her becoming a mother of multiple children, it will end any chance she has of saving more lives, it will end everything.

JJ living will save her family the pain of losing her, it will give her a chance, victims a chance. But that's all it is, a chance.

So, in a way, I am an angel of death, an angel of life, each seems to contradict the choice I make. Angel of death causes pain for those left behind, and as an angel of life, I cause her pain. It's a selfish choice either way- a no win situation. At least for JJ.

And so with a deep breath I whisper the words to Hotch.

He acts instantly, answering Dr. Connor's question. "Save her!" He orders her, and with a quick nod she begins barking out orders to the paramedics who have rushed in.

Now, I sit with the doctor and flight medics in the helicopter as JJ is airlifted to the best trauma hospital in the area. It's where Kennedy died, and they are known for their work with trauma. She is pale, intubated, and not breathing without the help of the ventilator, but she is alive. The doctor is desperately working to control the bleeding, to keep her charge breathing. She will. JJ will survive, that I know.

I am still by her side when she first regains consciousness almost three weeks later. A medical induced coma had been decided upon, giving JJ all the best chances. She cannot talk, and is unable to keep her eyes open for more than a few hours.

The second time she opens her eyes, its in the middle of the night. She is off the vent and looks directly at me and begins talking.. well mumbling. Nothing is understandable, and she concerns Agent Morgan who is at her side. Her blue eyes never focus on him, and despite his repeated calling of her name it almost appears as if she has no clue that he is there.

"JJ." I kneel beside her bedside and stroke her hand in mine. "Your friend is here, he wants you to look at him," I feel like my chest is in my stomach; did I make the wrong choice? "No.." She shakes her head, speaking to me, but Morgan is the one trying to converse with her.

"No what, Jayje?" He places a kiss on her forehead as the doctor walks in. "No, what?" He tries again, there is no response.

On her fortieth day in the hospital, she seizes, a massive seizure that results in few close calls, and she is put back on the vent. The doctors are not giving great chances and transfer her back to the ICU. I am by her side the entire time.

At the three month mark, JJ makes eye contact with her physical therapist and Agent Hotchner. Two days later she shocks everyone and asks a simple question. "Hotch. Mike?" She cannot form full sentences yet, but it is a marked improvement.

"Mike?" He leans in front of her. "Who is that, JJ?" He reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, well aware that he may never have this agent back on his team.

"Mike.." She swallows which seems to take much more effort than it use to. "Mike."

"Is there someone working with her named Mike?" Hotch questions the therapist who shakes her head. "JJ, I don't know who Mike is."

She glares at him, upset that he cannot answer a simple question. "Find him." She commands her boss with a certain amount of force in her voice. She doesn't know I am right here.

She won't see me again until her real end. And she will never be able to find out who I am, but I am okay with that. I got to play guardian angel and got to make a correct decision.

A year later, I watch as JJ, my agent rejoins her team for the first time in the field and as she steps out of the SUV, she whispers under her breath "Stay with me, Mike."

"Always, kiddo, Always." I promise and walk by her side as she unholsters her gun and enters the scene.

Her attackers were never caught, and that will always terrify me. She survived but that doesn't mean they will forget her, and I have a sinking feeling I have set JJ up for something even worse.

But for now, we will live for today.

Sequel?


	7. ICU

So, I got a ton of people asking me to do a sequel, and I would love to do it. But here is the catch; it is HARD to write Mike's character. His only person (originally) was to be with JJ in her last moments, I changed my mind at the last minute and JJ lived. If I were to write a sequel, I am not entirely sure what is purpose would be. I have a ton of other ideas for JJ in danger, but don't want to use all of them in the same story. Essentially, I do not want to use JJ kidnapped, hurt again in this story though it will happen several other times in other stories (if you have read my profile you will understand!)

So, this is my compromise. I have decided to continue this story, that way Mike is still present, I am not putting JJ through repeated traumatic events (at least not in this story) and the essential theme can continue.

Here is a warning, because of Mike's role and job, there is a good possibility that she will die this time around. I just find it will be easier for them to interact that way and as sad as death is, it is also life.

I am going to TRY and do this where Mike watches various members of the team as the deal with what happened.

I wake with a start, my heart (should it still be beating) feels as though it is racing. Sweat drips down my back, down my neck and for a moment it takes me a second to regain my bearings.

The white walls of the ICU room reminded me that I am still at JJ's side, that my charge has yet to awaken from her vicious assault almost two days ago. Her miraculous recovery and rejoining the team was nothing but a dream. Both figuratively and literally. It was dream in that it didn't happen and a dream that I hope it does.

I still do not know the answer and maybe this is the consequence we were warned about, the simple fact of not knowing. JJ is here, unconscious in the bed that is entirely too large for her. She hasn't moved on her own since the helicopter ride and is still dependent on the ventilator.

I promised her earlier that I would not leave her side, and I intend to keep that promise. I have nowhere to go, have no needs, the only place I need to be is by her side. Her team has been rotating shifts here, they say it is because her attackers are still at large; but I know it's because they do not want her alone. Ever.

Agent Hotchner is here now, his head resting in his hands as he guards his injured agent. Guilt is clearly written all over his face and he looks as though he hasn't slept in days. Multiple FBI agents have come in and spoken with him, I guess the assault of a federal agent is something the FBI does not take well, and all available agents are working the case.

I feel so bad for the man, for the entire team, but especially him. He knows he was the one to make the call to save JJ, or so he thinks. He knows that the possibility of brain damage is become more of a reality everyday, and today he knows that his worst fears are confirmed. His agent was sexually assaulted, and in his mind he let it happen. The doctor, Dr. Levels, had gently explained the results to him, offering the additional information that the test took so long to perform because they wanted to make sure she was stable enough before putting any more strain on her body. He adds that in no way is JJ considered stable, but the medical staff wanted "those bastards" just as much as the FBI, so the medical team went ahead and obtained the rape kit.

"I'm sorry, Agent Hotchner," Dr. Levels places a hand on Hotch's shoulder after detailing the evidence of the assault. All Hotch can do is nod as he reaches over and takes JJ's hand in his own.

He now knows everything he didn't want to know. But he also knows the name of one man involved in the critical injury dealt to his agent. And he is out for blood. He reaches up, tucks the blanket around JJ, and stands as the door opens.

Garcia and Morgan walk in, but Hotch stops and looks at Morgan. "Let's go." His voice is stone cold. "Garcia, do not leave her side."

The look of pure determination, anger scare me. And when he informs Morgan of the name of one of the men suspected in assaulting JJ, all hell breaks loose.

His name is Ryan Tom, and they know exactly where to find him; he is guarding JJ's door as the night shift officer. And tonight he will meet the FBI.


	8. Christmas

So I am totally sick and found out I am needing surgery pretty quick.. like within the next two weeks. Nothing serious- but it is something that needs to be addressed. The good news is that will give me time to write more as I will be off work for at least four days :)

This chapter is short because I am hopped up on meds, but I did my best :) Again, I cannot thank you all enough for the reviews I get. I know I am not exactly a talented author, but love seeing every single review!

Enjoy!

It's Christmas day, a white Christmas in Dallas, Texas. The news is abuzz with Texans absolutely amazed at two inches of snow on the ground. It's nothing special to me, I have had countless "White Christmas'" but I guess to someone who has never had one, it is pretty magical.

A small, artificial Christmas tree is situated in the corner of JJ's room. It is filled with ornaments and has numerous presents underneath it. Her son and his classmates have colored cards and pictures that now litter the wall. Pictures of her team and family are surrounding her, some are taped to the ceiling, others are in frames and placed all around her.

And then there is Rookie. Her son's "most favoritest" bear, and he is currently tucked underneath her arm. Henry came and saw her earlier this morning and brought his bear for his mom in hopes it would help her "not be scared." It was the first time I ever laid eyes on her nuclear family, Will and Henry. Will held his boy's hand as they entered the room, Agent Rossi escorting them silently.

Will had leaned down and gently explained to Henry why his mom was sleeping; that her body was trying to heal. The small boy had nodded and let go of his father's hand before gently crawling into his mom's bed. He somehow made it without yanking any tubes, and fell asleep next to JJ. During those few hours, I watched as JJ's vitals stabilized a bit more; her heart rate came down to a safe number, her blood pressure rose. All because her little boy snuggled up to her.

That was a few hours ago, Blake had come in and offered to take Henry and Will out to eat. It took a lot of encouragement and finally her insistence that visiting hours were over for the time being. While I doubt nobody would have forced the small family out of the room, nobody doubted that JJ would prefer that Henry spend Christmas being a kid- and Agent Rossi had arranged for that to happen.

The hotel the two were staying had been offered to make Henry's hotel room a winter wonderland, and the hotel did not fail to deliver. Toys piled up from the ground all the way around, it was a child's dream. On the bed was a gift for Will, JJ's badge had been wrapped and sealed. The note asked for him to personally give it back to JJ when she woke up.

Agent Morgan is currently with JJ, watching her carefully for any movement. He nearly jumps out of his chair when the monitor beeps signaling a slight increase in her heart rate. The staff has reassured him that they are carefully monitoring every vital, but he is still so cautious.

I am too, at any second I know JJ can be at my side, but for right now she seems to be okay. There has been no change in her condition since her arrival here three days before; and it seems to be an okay thing. As long as she isn't heading in the wrong direction, I will continue to wait.

And wait is all I can do.

It's nearly midnight when I watch the nurse come in and check JJ's vitals, then her temperature. She rushes out and come back in with a young doctor. I hardly hear them but the doctor sounds worried and immediately order blood to be drawn to check for infection.

I hear the word "septic" thrown out later and cringe, that does not sound good. And then, just when I relax a little bit, I notice something I do not wish to see.

JJ, her body is surrounded by a gold glow. Nobody can see it but me and I know what it means.

"Not tonight, JJ," I plead to her as monitors began screaming and the Code Team rushes in. "Not tonight. Not on Christmas." I turn my head as the paddles are pressed to her chest and her body jumps in response to the electricity. Not tonight, not on Christmas.


	9. Life

She isn't responding, her body isn't responding to the repeated efforts of the code team. More medication is being pumped into her frail body but I wonder if it is all in vain. The distinctive gold glow I see is becoming brighter and more prominent; that life is slipping away.

I hear the medical team speaking to one another, but cannot comprehend what is being said. The nurses are working in tandem, knowing exactly what to do, how to do and when to do. There is a doctor present as well, but the nurses seem to be running the show. And in the corner of the room, on Christmas night stands Hotch. Quite, out of the way, and I hear a silent plea a prayer- not to take JJ.

"Mike." I know the voice, Jim is back. "Mike, take her now." He whispers and touches my shoulder, pushing me towards the chaos.

I act and do not think, I reach into the gold glow and find a warm hand, and pull. The last sounds I hear are the nurses announcing that JJ has lost her heart beat.

When I open my eyes again, there is nothing but peace. No hospital, no crying, just peace and standing next to me is JJ. She looks just like she did in her picture, she looks healthy. There is no blood on her, nothing is hurt or broken, there are no tubes. She is, in every sense of the word, free.

"JJ?" I whisper, seeing her blue eyes taking in the new environment. "JJ, it's okay." For so long I was afraid of what to say, now it's almost natural. "You're safe here, you're safe now." I promise.

"Am I..?" She starts and I know exactly what she wants to ask.

I shake my head, reassuring her. "No, not yet. This is a sort of limbo. I can't choose for you JJ, if you get to live or die, you get that choice now."

She nods, and I am shocked at her brutal honesty. "How long do I get to decide?"

"As long as you need. However, your physical condition is deteriorating quickly. You are not breathing on your own, and have slipped into a coma. You are septic and should you survive there is a long list of potential complications from your injuries." I have to be honest with her. Deep down I know she will choose to go back, but I have to be fair and warn her that life will never be the same for her.

She licks her lips. "Will I be living, or just existing?" She cannot see herself now, cannot see her body or any of the action going on in her ICU room; I however, still can.

"The doctor is worried," I explain, "Your team and family are worried, and right now, you do not have great chances. They are debating on taking you for emergency surgery to relieve the pressure off your brain."

She looks around, at the crystal blue water, the sound of the waves crashing against the beach, it's peaceful for her and I see it in her eyes…

She is tired of fighting; she is considering giving up on life. And I make my decision, I refuse to let her.


	10. The End

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay. This is the last chapter!**

I watch as she sits on the sand near the water, taking in everything that potentially awaits her. It's ironic that death can be so beautiful, so welcoming, so merciful. It's everything that JJ's life is not right now. And I think she knows that.

She has been sitting for close to an hour now, just silently watching the waves crash up against the shore. I can only guess she is debating what to do.

"Hi JJ," I sit beside her and agree with.. well with myself not to pester her too much.

"Hi Mike," She smiles at me and looks me in the eye. "How am I supposed to decide?" She asks and for a brief moment I am ecstatic that she hasn't made her choice yet.

"I can't answer that JJ, I never got the choice" Yes, my words are meant as a guilt trip for her.

"I have a son." She whispers. "I have a husband and a team, but I am not going to ever be who I was, am I?"

I shake my head, "No, probably not. Your injuries are very severe." I warn, not wanting to scare her but wanting her to know so she can make that informed decision.

"What.." She begins but I have to interrupt her.

"JJ, you know what happened, you are educated enough to know what the potential complications might be." I watch as she looks away and immediately want to smack myself for my tone. "I'm sorry, JJ. I just want you to be aware, I want you to make the best choice for you."

"What would you choose?"

I pause, it's not something I expected her to ask me. What would I choose? "I never got to say goodbye.. and it is something I regret everyday. I wish I could hold my children's hands, kiss them one more time- I'd give up everything I ever had, every degree, every honor, everything for just one more second with them. My wife, I never told her I love you one more time, I simply walked out the door, in too much of a hurry to say those three words. I say it every time I can now, but it is not the same." I look down and take her hand in my own. "I am not supposed to influence you in anyway, but I am going to, and I will deal with whatever consequences come my way." I pause and look away for a brief second. "JJ, it only seems like its been just a few hours to you, the time you've spent here; in reality, you've been here for a week now." and with that I stand up and take something from her that'll come back to bite me, I am sure. I take her choice and choose for her.

"And now, it's time to back."

She came too close to choosing to stay here, and I refused to let that happen, so before she could utter the words, I sent her back. That was two weeks ago, and today- today I am watching as she slowly opens her big blue eyes for the first time in a month.

Agent Hotchner is with her and immediately alerts the medical staff, his agent has defied the odds and woken from a month long coma.

She is frightened at first, but after hearing her friend's voice, the fear immediately dies away and she falls back to sleep.

She is up and sitting the next day, just the act of being awake seems to zap her energy.

When physical therapy starts, I am right by her side when she is told she will never walk again, that her stab wound was too severe. I hug her as she cries to herself, I place a hand on Hotch's shoulder as he hears the news.

I am there when she is discharged from the hospital only to go to a rehab hospital, I watch as she yells and screams and cries at the counselors, at the therapists.

I am there, six months later, when she takes one tiny step. I cry with her this time, just tears of happiness.

I am there when she returns to the field, when she celebrates the birth of her twins, when she becomes a grandmother.

I am there her final night, when she passes peacefully and at an old age. I am there when she says the words that make everything worthwhile.

"Mike," She smiles and hugs me as I take her to the "other side." "Mike, thank you."

"You're welcome kiddo. Let's go see your family."

****

The End.


End file.
